With the start of the tournament less than a week away, it's time to take an in-depth look at England's chances. As an Englishman (and part-Welsh, there are split loyalties), it's always an entertaining time in the build-up to world cup, not to know whose playing, or who we're playing. The exciting part is to know what round England lose on penalites.
Since faliure to qualify for the World Cup in '94, England have gone on to lose on the "dreaded penalties" in 4 of there last 6 tournaments. The ending to a world cup campaign has become a similar pattern every world cup. A villian wgho receives a red card walking down the tunnel like a golden sillouhette, looking like a cheesy character in an old John Wayne western film. This will be followed by the emergence of a hero. The hero statusis what elevated Michael Owen from a player with bags of potential, to the player who "got that goal versus the Argies".
After the sudden surge in expectation and hope and the players offering the legions of football mad Englishman, sinking pint after pint of european lager whilst telling us how England is superior in ever department (despite that Carlsberg being from Denmark). That surge will inevitably be met with a close opportunity towards the end of the game or extra time, before the ref puts the whistle to his mouth and signals that penalties will settle the hopes and dreams of a nation (on the last couple of occasions this is when the camera pans to Phil Scolari smug expression, showing he knows what's about to happen).
At this time blind faith is what keeps us from admitting faliure and begin planning for our clubs next season and european championship qualifiers, usually a player on the opposition will miss )perhaps deliberately to put more pressure on the next failing England player to make a dick of himself from 12 yards). The players that miss the penalties don't usually receive the criticism back home unless they make an advert about it and try to cash in on out misery (i'm looking at a certain Mr.Southgate there) but unite in the collective misery of a nation whilst the ever optmistic fan will tell us "we didnt actually lose" or "we'll win it in 4 years" before his mates all tell him to shut up and sob like a baby who just had there jack in the box stolen.
In the aftermath of this, the players will face the wrath of "The Sun", but then as a nation we realise that perhaps we just aren't good enough, but obviously we will be next time. The players will come home early from the world cup much to the dismay of the fans, the despair of the players and the delight of the Germans. The flags and shirts go away for 4 years, and we all go back to our clubs and use the recycled blind fait to convince ourselves that your team "will go up this year".
However we all rejoice in the end, because at least we made it to the knockout stages and got knocked out, something Scotland could only dream of.
-Adam.
Follow me on twitter @AFKAA or the blog @worldcupwillie
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